You don’t like being told what to do. Nobody does. Let’s do an experiment. Your partner asks you, “Could you help Bethina with their homework?” (Assume that they aren’t busy.) How likely are you to help? What emotions do you feel? Let’s try this: A friend/coworker/stranger tells you, “You need…

The word that I dread seeing the most? Gratitude. I can’t get away from it. It’s in lifestyle webpages, YouTube advice videos, and books about how to rise above stress. Or anxiety. Or depression. And it’s in conversations I have with people whose lives it has helped. “Every day, I…

3 ways to overcome things that are driving you crazy — My mission was simple: pick up the Indian takeout and get home quick. Little did I know that I would be fighting a brain mosquito that had already ruined my mood and wouldn’t go away. One thing after another notched my anxiety up and my mood down. The restaurant wasn’t…

It’s all in your head — Not a Medium member? You can still read the full article here. Believe it or not, you can rid yourself of the discontent that comes from wanting more of things you don’t have. The secret is to choose a few good things to pay attention to, then spend a few…

Frank Sinatra was on the edge of giving up his career. “I’m quitting the business,” he said. “I’m sick of it. I’m getting the hell out.” A friend of his, Paul Anka, decided he couldn’t let that happen. So he wrote a song so good that Sinatra couldn’t refuse it. …

There are times when you want to get to the bottom of a situation, but the person you’re talking with isn’t cooperating. You ask questions; their answers get shorter and shorter. Quite quickly, the conversation ends in deadlock. Here’s an example: “Jamal, you got a C- in math, which is…

The longer I live, the more unfair things have happened to me. Being dumped by a girlfriend. Losing an award because my boss was mad at me. Losing half of a precious day off because a tire blew. Yet unfairness is not unusual; it enters every life — yours, mine…

You’ve read all the books and blogs about the miraculous power of habits and how they make it possible to do that work you keep postponing. Habits, they say, turns a set task into something you do without thinking about it. According to behavior researcher Nir Eyal, “habit works by…

It has been said that language makes reality. It’s not an exaggeration to say that your personality and behavior are greatly determined by what you have heard and said throughout your life. One important contributor to your well-being is what you say to yourself. A lot of them are emotionally…