Self-Hug Is Self-Love

COVIDcare #2: Hugging Yourself Is Great Self-Care

Hugs work, even when no one is near

In the mid-1930s, three out of four infants in Romanian orphanages were dying. Children there were safe and fed, far better than they had been in the outside world. The staff was mystified — what could possibly be wrong? They made change after change, hoping to reverse the trend, but nothing worked. The infants died, and they kept dying at the same alarming rate.

Finally, someone noticed that nobody ever held the infants in their arms. Life outside the orphanages was even worse than inside them, but mothers did hold their infants, and almost all of them lived. The orphanages changed the infants’ daily routine so that each of them was held every day — and infant deaths dropped to zero immediately.

[Note: Article 3 of 5 is here. Or you can read all the articles by going here.]

What was critical for the infants’ well-being is also critical for you. Human touch benefits both the mind and the body. Researchers have found time and time again that touch causes the body to produce the hormone oxytocin, which causes feelings of trust, warmth, and safety.

Hugs are a powerful way to improve your mood. Hugs are human touch, so they cause the body to release oxytocin. Hugs reduce anger, anxiety, and depression.

“Try giving yourself a hug in times of suffering several times a day for a period of at least a week.” — Kristin Neff

Surprise! You don’t have to have two people to get the benefits of hugging — you can hug yourself. Kristin Neff of the University of Texas says in Self-Compassion:

One easy way to soothe and comfort yourself when you’re feeling badly is to give yourself a gentle hug. It seems a bit silly at first, but your body doesn’t know that…. [Physical touch] provides a sense of security, soothes distressing emotions, and calms cardiovascular stress [which occurs during anger]. So why not try it?

She adds that it’s important to give yourself “feelings of love, care, and tenderness” along with your self-hug. (This too works even though you’re saying it to yourself.) Silently say to yourself: “Shhh…this feels bad, so give yourself a moment or two” or “You’re a good person, just slow down, you’ll feel better soon”. Neff’s ultimate advice: “Try giving yourself a hug in times of suffering several times a day for a period of at least a week.” Make this a habit, and you’ll have a powerful resource that you can use for the rest of your life.